This Loneliness Is Too Much – Day 30, Never Give Up On Your Dreamz

Some nights I,
Just don’t know what to write down.
All I can think about,
Is how perplexed I am while sitting on a chair,
At a job,
Wondering why I’ve been avoiding every crowd,
I can be in front of…

Yet,
I’m a bit aware of the answer.
Because,
I’m embarrassed from the mounds of ruin,
I’ve brought upon a life over vices so useless.
How I almost quit the only thing I know how to do.
Imprinting pages with a poem full of truths,
I have a hard time facing to,
Hopefully have an easier day.
A day where I can just let it all go,
Allowing God to handle everything I couldn’t take…

So ashamed I’ve been.
At myself while going through a silent crisis,
With no one to tell as I daydream of suicide and,
Other ways I can possibly exit an Earth shattering beneath me…

But,
No need to worry.
Too cowardly I am to hurt myself to that extent while I walk through a garden full of flowers and trees,
I hide behind of.
The kind of beauty I don’t ever want to get in the way while I write up,
Another ballad of my displeasures with myself…

Who cares,
Anyway?
Maybe,
I’m just one of those meant to die alone and fade away.
Leaving poems someone will discover,
Reading one that’ll help them smile,
Everyday…