"I coin a phrase, For me to change, And pay for my sinz…" – m3l0dic
Boundaries.I didn't realize there were any after offering to console me.But,As usual.I' treated more like a game rather than a man with feelings trampled by loneliness,And,A need to run away.To run away from the presence of anyone where there's potential for a bond to be built upon...It seems like everyone is too tired to lay... Continue Reading →
Shirts tucked in mattered more than my glaring depression in middle school.More visits were paid to the principle's office than the arms I needed to assure my mind that my life would turn out okay to say the least.The only solution that was thought to be best was to tie my legs,Whipped until I followed... Continue Reading →
Bewildered by the thought of Her enjoying her time right this second.While my heart,Mind and soul is cluttered by doom.Yet,I've fallen out of love years ago.How pathetic!Holding myself in contempt as a man doing his best to kill that version of himself,Who only knows how to destroy his own spirit.Left wondering why I'm even alive,Still…Feels... Continue Reading →
Being aroused is a feeling I don't want to feel any longer,Unless I'm with the love of my life,Whoever that may be.Happily married.Underneath a canopy of warmth,Devotion and endearment built by our need to look each other in our naked eyes and say,I love you.Sexual inclinations,To me,Mean nothing if you're not with the lover of... Continue Reading →
Some nights I,Just don't know what to write down.All I can think about,Is how perplexed I am while sitting on a chair,At a job,Wondering why I've been avoiding every crowd,I can be in front of… Yet,I'm a bit aware of the answer.Because,I'm embarrassed from the mounds of ruin,I've brought upon a life over vices so... Continue Reading →
So many mistakes.Only one to blame.The man I'm forced to see in the mirror,Every.Single.Day… Will I ever make it out of this hole,Will I ever fully change?From,A frown that feels permanent,To,An everlasting smile on my face? I…Don't know.I hope so,But,There are only a miles ahead hope can ever go towards… Forward!I march on.Regardless of how... Continue Reading →
Feels like it will never end, the suffering. The internal carnage between who I really want to be versus what others envision me as. A disease seeping out of my pours, transforming into new fixations I never thought would cripple me on most nights. It's not the weed, nor the booze. Now? It's a plate... Continue Reading →
Valiant efforts are laid to waste,Nowadays,When I try to smile without forcing myself to.Sorrow tends to drown out my laughter any time I humor myself with a different hue.I can't seem to think of another color,Besides red,To use on a canvas where I picture myself dead…A truth I've tried to avoid regardless of any joy... Continue Reading →
The same, the same, the same, the same, the same! That's just how it's been for the past few weeks and it's driving me insane. I may have reached two months without smoking marijuana, but something is still missing. A part of myself still seems to be AWOL without ever wanting to come back… All... Continue Reading →
It's just like me!To start something and put it off until the next.It's not surprising!How I'm already starting over with Day 1,Again.I challenged myself to write Poetry everyday,But,It became another promise my own demons sentenced to,Death… Nonetheless,I'm still trying.I'm still writing up another line,Hard enough to punch through each wall in my head.Not many choices... Continue Reading →
m3l0dicverse 