Loved?

Loved.
To be loved,
Is all I desire.
My only question is,
If I truly did love myself,
Would I be feeling this way in the first place?

I only ask because,
Remembering the last time I’ve heard those magical three words our hearts melt over is quite difficult.
Not a single thought bubble sprouting above my head with a memory,
No image popping up as hard as I try…

What ends up showing is an instance of disgrace.
A moment where my character had fallen apart while I beg God to make it all stop.
Not even one scene from my favorite anime or video game I’ve wanted to complete.
I guess,
I just don’t feel complete myself.
Pieces of me scattered all along a garden I’ve begun to grow a bit later than the usual person…

But,
Faith?
I have in abundance.
Faith in a God who’s love knows no bound.
Faith in turning over a new leaf instead of crumbling the same one,
Burning away each bridge in my life that has lead me to my own pond of water I can drink without harm…
How can I not have any,
As I wake with another opportunity to change my reality,
Projected from what my heart and mind chooses to keep inside of them…