Seduced By Pain – Day 135, Never Give Up On Your Dreamz

Sick and tired of,
Being sick and tired.
Although alcohol and weed are no longer parts of my life,
I still struggle with food and lust.
And,
I abhore it so much more than you can ever imagine.
Because,
Any time I find myself free to write a poem,
I get lost,
Entrapped in the thought of what keeps me at my lowest.
With only one answer in mind:
To die.
To experience a death in character rather than living a hopeless lie.
Praying towards a sky in control by a God withholding each blessing I’ve,
Refused for too long…
Question is,
How do I stop?
How do I let it all go before there is no time left on a clock,
Ticking regardless of how frozen I am,
In place,
By the torment of my own decisions while I just,
Ignore every single ache,
More like wake up calls from an inner-child so exhausted from all of the,
Pain I cause him…