So many questions,
So many questions…
If you really found Jesus,
Then,
Why are you still bewitched by sins that still leave you,
Breathless?…
Isn’t He supposed to fill you with,
An abundance of love enough to,
Squander the plans of He who rules this world of deception?
When?
Are you supposed to accept God’s blessing,
Of stillness you are destined for,
After opening the door leading to his ascension…
So many questions,
So many questions…
I don’t desire to ask myself any longer.
Truth is,
I’ve grown too weary to do it on my own.
I wish I was stronger!
To let it all go.
But,
All I am is flesh too exhausted to,
Evade every single stone thrown,
At my faith and hope…
So many…
No!
Maybe,
That’s the problem.
My reluctance to receive what’ll solve them while I,
Seek a profit not suitable for a son that’s prodigal.
Reaching for a pot of gold canopied by a sheen of liquor and heaps of marijuana smoke.
Acting in a scene in need of reality checks more than a lot of hoes,
And,
A wad of dough.
More than a palm full of pills buried in a collared throat,
Choking by the grips of a boss who’s broken by,
Their own lack of control…
An imposter I see,
On most days in front of a mirror stained by spit when I speak!
For hours on end…
So many quest…
Or,
Better yet,
So many excuses made when I should be grabbing a pen,
Grappling with debt,
Venture into a journey where I add on to my head,
A clearer conscious instead,
Of delusions fading within a sunsetting behind a world of regret…
How can I be myself chasing desires that expire as quick as it ends as I tire,
And,
Fall flat on a ground when wheeling and dealing with a Devil I know I can’t trust?
But…
I guess it’s what we do when lacking faith in God,
By steering away from silence and,
Sitting with our own thoughts….
Asking why me?
Rather than walking where he pointed towards,
Allowing your fear to be swallowed by every gift he’s got…
Just for you…
m3l0dicverse 
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