Never did I think that I’d become too busy to dwell inside of my room to write a poem and post it on time, but here we are. My apologies for seeming as if I’ve been taking days off. After recovering from what could’ve been a tragedy a few months back, I’ve been filling up my time doing what I love doing most: performing spoken word. Although I’ve had some bad days, I couldn’t be happier to sharpen my tongue and spit out fire that’s been resting in my eyes for quite some time. The kind of fire tears themselves cannot put out no matter how wet, no matter how many gallons squeezed out by the pain I’ve been withholding for the last several years of my life.
Maybe things do happen for a reason, after all. For reasons we may not have a clue of, yet known by who reigns above us. It’s why I’ve given Him control of the wheel instead of keeping my weary foot on the gas. I mean, why not? I’ve crashed so many times anyway. Losing control, thrashing my drive on a pavement I thought I’d never get up from again. Why not give control to the One who has already written our stories before we conceived our first breath?
I don’t know about you, but I grew exhausted of getting into accidents that weren’t quite accidental. It felt like I’ve been driving a vehicle I didn’t have the proper license for. A license I knew I’d never have the credentials for. Credentials none of us will ever have regardless of how hard we try. But, as bruised and battered to a pulp we get, there is no need to worry when God is there to cradle us, move us over to the passenger seat and drive us to where we need to be. To heal exactly how we should be healing. How often do we place a bandage on our wounds that just won’t stick no matter how hard we press on it against our ailing flesh?
Nonetheless, I’ve been having more fun than I’ve had in such a long time going to open mics all over the city. Meeting people, conversing with others in ways that became foreign to me ever since I chose Mary Jane to be my primary company. I can’t believe there was a day in time where I thought this would never be possible again.
Change…
To think I’ve changed when I was dead set on an exit from Earth my mind today cannot fathom….
There is only One to thank while I continue on, giving God the sword to swing away at every demon daring to invade my peace of mind. Because, only our Lord knows how I didn’t have the strength to persevere and destroy hundreds of underlings swarming all around me. A love so pure I am undeserving of, yet was given regardless of the circumstance.
If you’re reading this, just know that you’re never alone. God will always be there when you least expect it. But, it’s up to us to recognize God’s love whether or not we believe it’s real. Whatever you do, don’t ever allow this world, darkening by the second, to whisper in your ear and convince you that you cannot be saved. You certainly can. Just, grab his hand if you are on the edge. Don’t be afraid to let go and take in that deep breath. You’ve probably tried everything in your life, possible. Why not try God’s way, for a change? Maybe, you finally will…
Peace & Love
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