What is the point of me still being alive when I hold no connection to any living thing?
Literally.
All I do is wake up.
Contemplate my vices,
How I should quit them as I proceed to clean my face and room for my daily sit down with weed in one hand and,
A heart full of pain regardless of the amount of hits I take.
Sure,
I may live alone in a little corner of my family’s dwelling place,
But,
I’m the Nobody they’ve absolutely eliminated for the last seven years of my miserable existence.
To add some icing on a cake no woman is dumb enough to feed on,
Not a single Happy Birthday.
Not one Happy Thanksgiving spent eating with anyone since.
Every Christmas has been so empty of any cheer I’ve needed at some point.
Only thing I can remember is spending the pandemic trapped in a lover’s apartment for the first few months,
Forced to spend that particular Birthday of mine with a woman who treated me like feces over my need to be outside and make some money.
Something that could’ve been avoided if my mom didn’t choose to evict me just to teach me a lesson I didn’t need to learn,
Only to suffer…
Nonetheless,
I digress while letting out the biggest fart possible.
Because,
You can’t control anyone’s actions.
You really can’t.
The only turbulence you can bring to a state of inertia is your own flight,
Into a promised land you can’t buy a ticket for…
Maybe,
That’s why I should stay alive.
To see where I’d land if I could just,
Straighten out my crooked plane of existence with a clear vision of a future full of beauty I yearn for.
Make peace with a silence I’ve grown to fear ever since I stopped being myself in return for a hit of,
Pure lies…
m3l0dicverse 
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