The Visible Ghost

So.
For the last 8 years of my life,
I haven’t heard many say “Happy Birthday,”
Not a single “Happy New Years,”
Haven’t gotten a single phone call.
Not a single message trying to check if I’ve been holding on,
Strong…

I’ve just…
Been a struggling soul for others to be entertained by while littered,
By promises I was convinced were sweet,
Yet,
Went bitter.
How I would always have an open palm to hold while down in the dirt were,
All just lies as I picked up a lighter to flicker,
Some light into a void as dark as my mind trying to get rid of Her!
And,
Every other spinner of yarn tying their nooses around a neck,
I haven’t been able to suffocate myself while I lay in bed,
Contemplating my own death…

But,
None of what is being put down on this page is painted out of bitterness.
I write this,
More so,
Over a discovery I made within an epoch where I’ve gone blind.
A discovery that’s way better than what can be offered by Mankind.
A,
Path to unconditional love from God,
Jesus Christ…

A broken man like me may have had bad days behind closed curtains…
A man with a shattered shield may not be perfect…
But,
One thing is for certain!
No matter what happens,
God is there to teach me.
Saving me from thoughts of isolation without proof of existence
Holding His hand through a fire,
We spark ourselves,
As I relinquish my waning resistance!
To God’s everlasting Love most of us dismiss in,
The name of open wounds still bleeding,
Profusely!
For reasons as feeble as a wet paper bag you keep using,
To hold every ounce of weight on your shoulders…

When push comes to shove,
All anyone can do is move forward,
Repent.
Keep quiet.
Read a book and write a poem.
Hopefully convince another of God’s love by showing,
What He’s done for me while I write this prose and,
Raps where I wrap my head around a smile…
Rather than a death I can’t atone for…