A Breeze? You Wish! (Revised)

How do I break the algorithm?
Weed so deep in my mind this instant,
Most likely I’ll permit it,
While these memories convince me to quit it…

Memories flashing in front of my eyes,
Denying my two cents at the cost of my life!
The price…
Of sitting and swigging a bottle,
Splitting a cigar to fill it with weed in the spirit of feeling hollow….

But,
What else do I even have?
Others say I am not alone,
Yet,
Here I stand,
And,
There’s no one next to me as I glance,
At horizons in my mind I wish were present right in front of my eyes,
As they open as wide as they can…

Honestly,
I have no problem with that.
What I have an issue with,
Are the memories of a former beloved where I was the only culprit in,
An act of romance gone sour.
Enough to make me want to end a life God would not allow to be devoured.
By my own palms,
Nor,
The hands of a scorn feeding off of every tear I tend to drop afterhours…

Because,
I truly want to live more than anything.
And,
No longer care for what many think.
As if I was too weak to quit the many drinks,
I haven’t had within the last year,
Even if I’ve laid in a bed of weed…

Today feels different as I write this sentence tugged from the weeds of my mind,
As I clear it up by cutting off every single one who cut me out of their lives.
How can they see the endless worth in mine,
When their hearts are closed with a grudge labeling me a clown in their eyes?
Virtually impossible in a world where hate is more prone to come to life!
Had to act on it quick and be pennywise.
Keep my distance and screen out the many lies,
To curb the instance of buds being burned instead of getting high!
If their loss was my price for a better life,
Does it matter if they see the change I’ve coined in a bar I’m imprisoned in until the end of time?…

So,
Why keep on caring?
I fair better wearing my emotions tucked under my sleeves…
With how cold I’ve been,
How else can I give myself warmth,
Rather than breezing through trees?
Whether or not I weather a storm,
A king can only reign when blessed with sobriety!
And,
If not a soul can accept that?
I shall silence thee,
With another shot at writing these,
Rhythms only I can write with ease…

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