Got My Spine Back (Revised)

Coming clean to my Ex about breaking our promise,
In less than 24 hours?
Wasn’t easy as I’d hope.
But,
It had to be done.
Especially,
After months and months of feeling destroyed by the woman I loved…

Desperate was I to find salvation for a heart being teared apart by the sounds of her rejections.
How,
I wasn’t good enough unless I had bands aiding my wounds,
Through many rendezvous she vowed to cross off of her checklist.
Bleeding internally from every shot buried deep within my neck and,
Chest!
Where I still treasured her unconditionally…

Yet,
Conditions were placed regarding my decisions.
The way I had caused friction?
Was a problem.
All the weed I was sifting?
Just nonsense.
Unless,
She had hinted to cop some…

All the money I was keen to spend,
Was seen as a reason to detest me.
Deemed a man worth to break even though I lost so much time spent investing,
In piecing back together a broken love she felt no longer made sense…
So,
She left while I was ripped to shreds,
With much to account for…

Made sure to tear my image into bits and disintegrate them with her disgust.
Vile vermin in her eyes,
Although she was still gorgeous in mine,
While falling out of love.
Yet,
I account for my sins!
I wasn’t the best,
I’ll be the first to admit.
But,
While asleep to her lies,
God showed me everything he wouldn’t let her keep hidden…
A union with another man about three months before I ever did it…

She would’ve left sooner
But!
I begged enough to stop us,
From separating during so many turbulent nights…
Laying next to her hoping she’d forgive me,
Even if she was planning her revenge out of spite…

Such a sweet love everyone believed we had.
“He really does support you,
He has your back!”
Is what others said when they witnessed the bond we always seemed to have in tact.
Yet,
What happened when I didn’t have enough stock in my pockets?
She carved out my spine!
While I watched it,
Bleeding in her wretched hands!

At least,
It’s how I’d like to feel,
You know.
Her being “wretched” and wicked.
But,
Never was I perfect,
Just a troubled man who is gifted.
Truth is,
The more I tried staying present,
Those gifts were stolen by demons blocking my vision.
A family whom left me for dead,
As I fell to my addictions…

She had every right to leave,
A man who was hanging on for dear life by smoking up trees.
A broken man who was killed by tumultuous Beasts.
But,
As I’m reborn by the Grace of our Lord,
I wouldn’t come back expecting the scum thought I would be…

Thankfully,
I’ve surpassed every obstacle she believed I couldn’t with my melodious rhythm,
Even as I was nothing but broke with a vision.
Inside of her mind?
I rather be the villain she ditched,
When I gave in to an image painted by the demons whom tricked,
Me for the very last time…

May have missed her for a while,
But,
All I’ve wanted back was my life.
Found it through a set of words written by a God who would never leave my side.
No matter how bad it became,
Like every single night I thought about,
As well as attempted suicide.

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