You were right when you urged me to leave them behind.
I couldn’t see why I should’ve put them to the side,
Until they’ve tried to control and order me around like,
A slave seen as scraps they could’ve thrown away at any point in time,
Only using me as temporary aid for any problem in their life as they arise…
I’ve snapped!
Wishing you were here to pat me on the back,
Telling me that everything is okay no matter if my pain is something to laugh at,
In the eyes of a family I was never part of while they backtrack,
Every promise that was made to me.
How was it ever possible for them to be there during times of need,
If all they did was blow smoke!
While kicking away the one apple falling far from a tree?
I’m choosing to burn up to the third degree…
Being like them was never in my plans.
Just,
A Bachelor’s,
Masters and a PHD rather than a seven year dance,
With Mary Jane that only came about because of,
Whining I was trying to cloud myself away from by singeing it to ash.
Whining filling my eyes and ears with regret while I was drunk by the pen and pad,
I swore to live my life through.
A pen and pad they were always afraid of over thy truth…
A truth I’m tired of avoiding while they attempt to pop my wheels,
Hotter than burnt rubber erasing mistakes on a page God said would heal,
A drive waning the more I keep a mouth closed safeguarding me on steady heels,
Once upon a time,
Before my demons convinced me to kneel!
To the shadows of a monster I never was…
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