There’s not much I can really say,
Being that I still don’t want to live till this day.
A feeling I’ve felt ever since the 5th grade,
Going on to middle school where I was nothing!
But,
An outcast to pick on just to feel entertained.
And,
It didn’t matter if I was home,
Or,
At school,
It was all the same.
A target for whomever had a day full of pain,
More than smiles that seem to evade my presence…
Nonetheless,
I can see why I’m avoided.
Why pretend to ever be happy around a man with an empty void,
Even for a moment!
When I think about hanging myself often rather than reviewing my choices,
And,
Redefining what I perceive to be the only answer for a spirit more annoyed with my existence…
Honestly,
It’s a truth I have to accept.
I think about jumping in front of the train more than getting inside of it.
Death?
A reoccurring thought circling my mind like clockwork every time I’m in my head.
I look at knives and all I can see is my blood dripping from multiple incisions I’ve made on my flesh!
And,
I can’t help it…
Rather stay away from others instead of being a burden.
Set an example of how not to be while I try to keep my curtains clean.
Love just,
Isn’t for me as it seems it desires not a single hint of my flailing touch.
A reality I wouldn’t even want for my enemies as I lay,
Crushed,
By the weight of my sorrows…
m3l0dicverse 
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