Insidiously Confused

Only thing that matters to me,
Is a chance to ride a beat.
Forget a friendship.
They set you back when you’re on your path to succeed./
Suns flower every rose meant to surpass the concrete,
As long as you chew everything you dare to swallow no matter how hard it can be…/

I’m an individual too hard to connect with.
But,
I can understand with how soft the world is around me now that I’m rough around the edges./
For good reason.
We all have demons.
I just let them in since they help me fire back at all my beloved for Treason./
Since my break-up with a lying bitch was enough to leave when I wanted suicide in the Sea,
Sin takes over my mind as I spring towards Heat with,/
A trigger I can pull…

All those cold cans helping me snap out of my generosity.
When I’m feeling like this,
The only thing I covet is Atrocity,
As I generate gallons of bodily fluids,
At least in my mind so that I can get through this…/
Confusion.
Yes,
I’m confused when,
I stuff your memory behind bars I’m imprisoned in with you,
Stiff./
From every shot I threw,
Dripping from the corners of my lips as my taste of victory.
I want peace,
But,
I like seeing rappers ripped into pieces vigorously./
Heads on my wall I collect as reminders of my misery.
How I was alone as I watched others leave bitterly./
How me and Mary Jane had so much synergy.
Coerced to burn bridges so that I can be on cloud 9 without bickering,/
With myself,
About pulling a trigger next to my temples…

Most days,
I feel like prey as I alter my state of mind through a pen full…/
Of ink where I paint visuals of modern day warfare.
Of those who smile in your face when you’re up,
Yet wouldn’t lend a hand nor care,/
When you’re on the ground…
There’s just no time to clown around,
When their kind carry knives after witnessing your talents elevate past our clouds./
Not just the weed smoke,
And gun play most take part in when they’re down for the count.
But,
The ones in the sky most try to reach through a mound of their own clout…/
Clicks seem to matter more than meaning what you say,
When you’re in a net of people that only care for their own fate./
So,
I’ve learned to keep a sword to my side and pencil in my story before anyone digs up my own grave…/

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