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Plugged In

Ain’t it?
To tell someone to,
“Just do!”
When you haven’t received a single ounce of respect you’ve earned.
When depression seeps into your mind first thing in the morning while you thirst,
For a smile you can see within a scratched mirror you’ve clawed at ferociously for answers…

The disaster it is when a human mind is cursed by the woes of Sorrow.
Most speak as if there’s a switch to flip,
So quick,
Reversing what puts your soul in a pinch!
Unfortunately for people like myself?
What exists is a wall lacking the outlet I’ve needed to reenergize my life with the kind bliss,
One can only find in their own purpose…

All I can do is reach for the “plug” to my sanity.
Connected to what’s glad to heave me,
Up to a sky,
So high!
While it plans to leave me floating as my fall picks up speed,
Fleeting from our scene before I land and splatter my tears against the concrete.
A feeling most don’t understand until their happiness is stolen by a fraud,
Seeking to turn your drive towards a road to ruin.
Gripping your bones until they’re atrophied and useless.
Hugging you until you can’t breathe nor move away from a bed that feels too fitting for my current situation…

Fighting so hard to be new in a place where I’m an enemy to strangers.
Tired of carbon monoxide being what I breathe as I break into tears only I find major.
Pain wouldn’t be booted no matter how many times I’ve drilled peace into my mind,
Regardless of any danger.
I would love to,
“Just do!”
Busy trying to find my savior!
Get my just dues…

As not a single sentence is for anyone to see!
Every bar written is for me to reach,
For something other than a bed of weed and some bad memories!
With how I lack time to kid around,
Plan B was the only choice a man like me can decide on.
The kind of paper I’m yearning for is the kind that I can write on!
The only role I ever want to give a spark to,
Is who I see when I’m staring at a man in my mirror giving light to my need to right wrongs,
Where I’ve betrayed myself.
Not accepting who I truly am in a glass house more transparent than the sky!
Falling from above,
Watering your eyes with a sea of lies covering their fronts,
With drugs all up in a demon’s mind so desperate for love…

All I really want in the end.
I would love to “just do,”
I’m still looking for the reason as to why I’ve been depressed.
Trying to find it in a poem,
Sometimes what you’ve been missing is a friend.
Reminding you that everything is okay in the midst of this stress,
Weighing down my shoulders while I hustle for a dollar,
Just to give it up for a dime I smoke until there is nothing left.
Buds disappearing right in front of me as blunt as it can get…

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