Numbness

When your legs fall asleep without ever knowing when they’ll wake up?
An odd feeling I choose over anger and frustration.
At least,
I can deal with numbness and be functional.
Can’t smile,
But,
I wish you the best while I keep my distance.
My hands gently flow across a page no matter how much they fidget.
Because,
By the end of it all?
I will be given!
What I’m owed,
Every bit of all I’ve reaped and sewn,
From the moment I had died inside of a broken home,
To the moment I stitched every thought I’ve stressed!
As it seemed possible to flow a bit differently…

Not like any other I’ve met before,
Instinctively.
Most keep a phone in hand.
As I keep a book in mine to understand,
The madness occurring in a land,
Meant for the free!
Apparently…

But,
Speaking of freedom,
I rather not live a fantasy and ignore that voice in my head.
As if that voice in my head doesn’t tell me when I’m fucking up,
Or,
Right about whatever situation I’m swayed to keep separate from.
Like,
Marking hostility as an answer to a punk!
Invested in commencing my downfall…
A downfall I’ve already risen since that lonely moment I found God.
Finally!…

Either way,
Regardless of my wear and tears,
I’ve made a plethora of outcalls,
To an entity,
Divine in its fashion while unveiling an escape after clearing all the clouds,
Blocking me from seeing it…
As all that’s left is a bed I’ve made,
And,
I couldn’t be happier to sleep in it.
Finally…
With my widest smile,
Rather than my biggest regrets…