Never Really Mattered

A loner’s life can be difficult at times.
Because,
One particular question likes to come into mind.
If I die,
How long would it be before anybody find outs?
Would I rot here until my body begins exploding,
Turning pitch black just like the darkness swirling all around a heart cracked from falling,
Too many damn times…
I guess I’ll never know,
Regardless of who’s on what side of whatever fence.
I guess,
It’s just what you start pondering after days,
Weeks,
Months,
Years of silence from others with conditional love to offer and,
Nothing else…
Or,
Maybe.
I need to pay more attention to myself for a change…