Sober Kid In The Party

Sobriety is weird.
Hard to get used to after years with a desk stacked with beers and liquor,
Anytime a tear raced down the corners of my eyes.
I can see why many lie in fear when our feelings storm around inside.
Clearer than before,
Now that all the rain on my side stopped pouring down so viciously…

I mean,
Hurricanes go away,
Temporarily.
Inevitable growing pains,
Watering the seeds planted right above the face,
Of a surface bearing seeds.
Waiting to be soaked by blood,
Sweat and tears you are willing to give up.
But,
Some of us become pot-heads,
Ready for whatever smoke after never being filled with love…

Have you ever been so,
Out of control with your own palms?
Looking in the mirror without being able to trust yourself?
Lost in reflections of sin you’ve wrought,
While you burn inside the hottest pits of Hell?
If you haven’t,
It’s like going to sleep with a smile and seeing a rope hang from the ceiling,
Defeated before waking up for a reason you’re unable to piece together while laying in pieces.
It’s like watching every villain in your favorite cartoons,
Weaken the hero you have always looked up to,
And dreamed of being rather than a heathen others love to cut loose,
Knowing we live in a world so,
Lonely…

Often ask myself,
Am I the only one who’s ever felt alone in a room full of people?
Impossible!
When I’ve seen similar drinks in each hand looking to pop a few pills for improbable Joy.
Joy we all want at the end of a day where we’re given a choice.
Between filling a void with booze and drugs to avoid the truth.
Or,
Sitting in silence no matter what noise attempts to shatter you!

Why not sit back and force a poem or two?
It’s better than drinking a bottle of Moet at two in the morning,
While mourning another who thinks Death when reading your older stories.
As an Author,
All I can do is keep turning a page while staying away what isn’t for me!
Alcohol can only wet paper against a razor that tore me,
Apart from limb to limb!
Until I defended myself the moment I got sick of this,
Environment we have made…

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