Will He Ever Learn?

Journaling my heart away becomes much more difficult as I keep struggling to stay silent.
Sure,
My soul loves to sit down and philosophize until sunrise,
But,
With all due respect to myself,
What am I really doing?
What can possibly be accomplished while I take another drag from a Joint full of lies and,
Buds sparking memories exhausting a vessel asking for a loving embrace Mary Jane can’t ever give it?
How can I ever walk towards any set of arms while I burn bridges with every hit I take?
Never do I mean to throw jabs at myself…
I’m just,
Tired of being who I’ve been as I get denied help!
I keep asking for.
Cries for help from a woman scorned by the absence of a man she claimed to have died such a long time ago…

When will I ever learn?!…