Nights like these,
There aren’t many things to think about.
Taking deep breaths is enough for a man just,
Trying to change his whereabouts.
Address the plethora of skeletons within a closet locked by many doubts,
Of a life full of smiles pending on resilience within a discipline I now replenish with a need to heal,
Instead of chasing clout…
Can you feel the rhythm bounce off a set of lips other women wouldn’t kiss,
Unless I have money or fame attached to my name for their own benefit?
How I snap with a pen and let its ink drip inside of open wounds still bleeding from a schism,
Meant to break me apart?…
Relationships starving me of clarity I never had since the very start…
“I hope you never get depressed!”
Is what she said when we marked our union,
Regardless if her love was a farce.
How was I to know she’d choose another man with how flawed I’ve become from,
Loving her the best I can with a soul targeted and marred,
By my exile from a family that scarred her as well?…
Questions keep popping up the less I’m hooked as I point toward freedom,
Rather than a wishing well that’s begun to spill through every enclosure.
Could’ve used a little closure,
With a heart due to open up and get some exposure,
Through a love for poetry exposing every demon having the audacity to step closer to me!
I truly don’t mind the confusion.
I truly don’t mind how I’ve been used for the past decade of my life,
Ducking fiends trying to steal my two cents,
A mind thinking for itself without filters a blunt guy like me can’t use while I find myself again.
Some things are better left unanswered in a world broken by their own due dividends.
Why break down what kept me from being whole,
Now that I sing along to the tunes of my inner child just,
Being such a happy kid in this,
Hell I’ve created just because I refused to fan the flame burning my skin too many damn times!
More than I can count by a palm cauterized,
To a pen & pad,
Back in control over the story of my life…