Sometimes I look inside of my bathroom mirror,
And wonder if I do look like them,
The scorn and tyrant,
Culprits of my inception…
When I gaze upon their actions inside of my mind,
I run away and immediately open my eyes…
After watching belts and wires being cauterized into my skin continuously,
Deprived of a much needed hug and kiss,
I can’t bear darkness shackling my pupils as nightmares dare to invade my train of thought at night…
Often wonder If it’s even possible to dream as long as they exist…
I am not a man.
But to others?
I am Light,
I am a domesticated animal released into the wild,
To the world?
A person with feelings simply trying to find his way to happiness…
And I’m left wondering,
Why was I brought into a world stripped of its unity by the roots?
Born into the hands of a woman who dared to lay on a table underneath a knife,
Willing to take my life,
No matter the price?…
Cursing me with questions on repeat like,
“How can I trust her with a blade in her hands,
Without finding a single problem leaving me damned?”
Before having a chance to define my character into the man she’d want me to be?…
Every night before bed I imagine,
Tying mom and dad on a chair,
And duct taping their mouths with the same ignorance they’ve spewed amongst my need for love…
Screaming with every inch of breath left inside of my lungs,
“Do YOU need somebody now to save you,
Because that’s how I felt growing up in a war at school and the streets,
While those same bruises from every single fight grew bigger coming back home…
Am I just,
Supposed to let it go because Mother gave me life?
Am I just,
Supposed to let it go because Father left,
But really never left?
How can I let go every moment Momma wanted to take away my life?
Every moment Father slept at home instead of his cab during my darkest days,
And never turned his light on for me?
I guess I am…
Although mom and dad never took the time to teach me,
I look at their wrong doings to make the right decisions,
Obliterating their viscous circle…