U Want This, I Want That

Ever felt like the clock’s ticking too fast,
When your body doesn’t really want to get into rhythm?
Funny,
How I find myself writing this at 11:11.
Never do I want to feel like sweating my blessings,
But,
I have a question,
Whether or not will I ever get back into heaven?
Or,
Forever wander in a land full of every soul informally rejected…

Rejected,
By whom you believed to be the one you could trust.
Like,
Can you be there for me?
But,
When you need it?
You’re left in the dust…

And,
That’s kind of how I feel.
Left under one pile of ash from Marijuana smoke that couldn’t heal any wound,
Like you could’ve,
As I feel you should’ve,
But,
Now I see you never would’ve,
Either way…

I mean,
All you kept calling me for was for dinner,
And for a lot of sex,
Which I do like.
But,
I’m not trying to drink a whole cup of liquor while spreading your legs,
When I want to get deep in your mind…

It’s why I kept calling any time I was low.
All I wanted was to kiss those lips,
Not Mary Jane’s,
When I think about who to hold.
Not a blunt making me spill my guts out during moments I shouldn’t fold.
After all,
You “knew” me as a man dealing with a set of rigid cards I was given with a smile.
And,
Just because I don’t have one this very moment I’m speaking right now,
It doesn’t mean I don’t,
Internally,
As all I ever dream about is you and I before every bout,
That divided us both,
So long ago…

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