Reflection Of A Natural Born Monster

Another Day time reflection while I wake feeling blessed with prosperity.
Although I walk past debris crowded our desolate streets,
Loneliness isn’t what I thought was making me weep,
After all.
Something I noticed when I chose to be at peace when I refused to bawl,
At Life’s whips and lashes…

Those belts and wires my parents planted on my back when I would seem to get out of line.
A fish they catch with a reel full of lies.
Thinking it would save me from any danger,
When they were eating me alive.
Munching on every bit of my potential while I splashed tears from my eyes…

Still,
No anger is held towards my creators.
Half of my Being is made from the debauchery they’ve savored.
A blatant mistake birthed from an unruly nature.
Yet,
Nurtured by a discipline provided by my savior…

Hatred is an entity I refuse to be allowed inside of my atmosphere.
With God by my side,
I,
At most,
Fear myself when I unpack a beer.
While asking myself,
“Is God watching me as I break my promise with a shot,
Some cheers,
A bar lined up with my soul on the rocks trying my best to sit calm in dear Light…

Funny,
Though.
How double entendres helped me glow.
Helped me grow.
Out of the temptations of letting those thoughts blow out of proportion.
As a professional at what I do,
I can only show how pros portion the coke bottles they soak in,
For some motivation.
How many of these lines were written while coasting on a high where I was so elated,
With whatever success came my way,
Destroyed by my use of drugs I chose to embrace in a state of,
Depression…

Too much pressure mounted on my shoulders at one point.
Yet,
My heart always had a piece of it fain to make a tough choice.
Like,
Choosing myself over filling my void,
With people who only keep slicing away and widening it.
Like,
Avoiding a family smiling in light of depression lining me up against a deadly bout with Death…

Nonetheless,
There is a difference nowadays.
Always thinking of how this makes me feel as my power is drained.
Energized as soon as I lay ink on a page.
Refreshing my life when beginning new chapters of Love & grace.
I mean,
What choice do I have as a writer without a single baby picture to his name?
I’m just a spirit walking in the Flesh while I raise,
A pen to the sky in a sketchy world where I draw against the grain…

Bless ❤

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