Don’t Worry, I Love Me

If I’m a piece of shit in your eyes,
Then I must be the piece gathered on the tissue you use to wipe.
Most men and women end their nights with a vice.
Yet,
I’m still looked down upon because I’m blunt and choose to get high?
Being with anyone has come at a price,
Every time.
Always asking myself,
“How can the best things be free when pleasing anyone came at the cost of my life?”

Funny enough,
Nowadays,
I feel senseless.
Drowning in my own detriments.
Never good enough for anyone until I’m writing out messages.
On a page as a Poem used as a weapon in,
This War taking place in my mind between the loving memories I press against,
The inner layers of my eyes,
Versus hateful memories floating in the back of my head…

Is it,
Me?
I really do wonder.
As I’m on my own mission to discover who I really am despite of nights full of thunder.
Crashing down on my tear ducts along with rain splashing just until I go under…

Drops of alcohol puddled on my upper lips.
Thinking,
All night,
About the only woman I dream to kiss,
Once more,
As I move forward…

An image too ugly for anyone to fall in love with.
But,
Strangely enough,
It’s an image my heart covets.
Because,
I love Me…
Might seem hard to believe,
But,
I’ve had no choice as I’ve only had the Lord above me…
Tried killing myself,
Didn’t work,
So,
I figured It was time to stop ducking.
My inner voice calling me a quack,
And flex as the handsome man I know I am…

Sure,
I was that fat kid in the heights,
Never taught to fight,
Lying all about his life just to go back home without a bruise or a knife stuck inside of his spine.
But,
Nowadays,
I’m a diamond from the roughest parts of the BX in hindsight.
Where I was taught to be extraordinary while I mind mine.
An outcast,
But,
I still rap better than these big boys who band together trying to slide by.
On my rhymes.
As if I don’t notice!
Still,
They know it’s bye-bye!
When I grab my pen and synchronize with ink,
As I leave them tied tight,
In the bottom of a barrel I am swigging from…

Nonetheless,
So what if no one wants me.
I want me.
If you can’t see the beauty I display,
It’s okay.
Just back up off me.
I rather not be friends with anyone who fronts!
But,
You can sit behind my curtains and watch me.
At the end of it all,
I write these bars from the bottom of my heart hoping that you hear me and quit stopping…
Your damn selves from loving each other during times where we’re all boxed in our homes while feeling rocky…

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