Traversed

Guess what…
I might of explored,
Ashamed of my past while all I wanted was a friend.
But,
I guarantee,
That if your girl spent a night with me,
She wouldn’t want to go back with you again!
And,
I’m not even a player,
Player.
I’ve just been sitting on the bench observing others lacking taste women can savor,
Shooting their shot!
To be bricked when they’re out of line with a pick up line that will just enrage her.
The weak game most of you display is enough for me to laugh it all away.
Resurfacing a confidence I’ve put inside a grave,
The day I let myself die in alcohol and weed smoke to disinfect and cover up open wounds from being forsaken as I wince in pain!
I felt inside for what feels like centuries.
Sins of a Mother and a Father I have paid for to become a better version of me…

But,
How do I wash away the bitter taste in my mouth left by each woman who’ve made me feel lesser than?
As a poet flowing words God wrote into my soul to unearth a curse within me,
I can only think of one option that is better grasped when alerted of “Her” memory.
Chewing every insult I’ve had to swallow,
Mixing every bit of spit with militant words sprayed along the faces of each ‘model’,
Who called me a faggot for not giving her a compliment while I wallow in my,
Loneliness…

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*Please Read*

Good Day!

Hopefully everyone who reads this is doing wonderful. I thought it was best to elaborate on this piece and what will be happening further with my blog.

As I’m sure you all have noticed, I’ve slowed down my work more than I ever have before, but it has never really been intentional. For the past few years of my life, I have been battling with my personal demons, especially my addictions to cannabis and my struggles with sexuality (an issue I haven’t spoken of to anyone until this very moment) over the past several years. As much of a fight I put up, I still feel as if I’ve been uprooting my feet out of wet cement gradually desiccating.

In all honesty, it tears me apart how I’ve allowed such horrid realities mar my mind and soul the way that it has. So much so, writing poems became more of a chore as they became bombastic in nature. Blinded I’ve been by a demon who tricked me into thinking that I was alone with no one in the world that cared about me, whatsoever.

Nonetheless, it’s why I’ve been praying the more I pray to Jesus and give my life to God, loneliness subsides. My smiles throughout the day are innumerable regardless of any ache I may feel at any point. The tips of my fingers tingle and wake up earlier than they have before, alerting me to write until my brain can’t come up with more ideas for the rest of day.

One thing I can promise from this point forward is consistency. I will be coming up with a schedule for my poetry everyday and will speak of it in the next poem I release. From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely appreciate everybody who still reads my poetry.

I promise, all of you wonderful souls are in for a treat ❤

Peace & Love,
God bless