Ain’t Mad Anymore!

All the noise stopped when I chipped a tooth pulling teeth to bring It to an end.
This,
Vortex of smoke I’ve spun inside of for too many years of my life,
Chipping away at my flesh!
Piece by piece.
Making sure the torture is painful and slow.
But,
Not once do I wince as I endure the sting of Hell.
As numb as I’ve been.
“Feeling” isn’t a thing for me,
As alone as I’ve made my self…

Staying on the ground,
No matter what I do while I work on a sound only I can produce.
Even when I feel down on my luck,
I’m,
Loving my life while untying a noose!
Looped around my neck by the bitterness I’ve allowed to ensue!
In a heart I’ve vowed to protect and court through my journey in justice…

It’s a competition.
Me against the ambitions of my past self,
Withholding a vision darker than I could ever envision today.
A suicide I could never picture ever since I’ve changed my frame of mind,
To fit the man I’d rather be instead of this fake.
This,
Angry motherfucker cauterizing Mary Jane to his thoughts rather than a calculated escape,
From this piece of shit family I’ve had to be surrounded by,
By fate!

But,
I’m not mad anymore.
I’m just,
Going to war with a sword stashed away for way too long while I sharpen it,
Pouring my hoarded tears along the edge of it as my means of catharsis,
Slicing through uncertainty with the will of a Lion and the eye of a Marksmen…

A writer at heart!
No matter how much I try to avoid this.
But,
After reexamining all of my choices,
I,
Choose the pain that comes with every moment I’m voicing,
What broke my heart into pieces while I falling into a void only,
Jesus Christ can save me from…