Smoking weed isn’t as special as others make it seem like. After a while you’ll find yourself asking, “Can’t I be doing something better for myself right now?”
Usually where I end up at the end up like this moment finishing my first blunt of the day. Feels like my personal demons manifested in the smoke I burn out of confusion. Because, no matter how relaxed most of my body may feel, all I can think about is why my ex-girlfriend thought it was okay to use weed as the solution to my mental woes.
Not that it’s her fault, but, I just do. Can’t help but wish that she had spent more time convincing me to speak to a therapist instead of Mary Jane’s unfaithful self. And, ever since me and my ex parted ways, there’s just something about Mary that “still” has me talking to her every single day.
But, I’m sick and tired! Sick and tired and wasting time on what I hoped could be true, yet never will be. That, maybe one day, Mary can finally put a smile on my face just like she used to. Something that will never happen regardless of the countless times you pray that it does.
Nowadays, though, all I pray for is to quit without a single hiccup. Quit her until I forget the word “relapse” never existed. No more precious time wasted on something that will only singe anger and despair to your entire being…