Isolated Incident

Been so mad at women nowadays,
But,
It’s time to understand why.
By rewinding back time a little bit and shine light at who I once thought of as divine.
The one who had my heart for 5 years without a doubt until my very own eyes,
Became more moist every moment I wrote a rhyme.
Because
I promised myself I’d keep it real no matter what in each line,
Regardless of how I thought I was losing her inside of my mind…

Our relationship began just fine.
Laughs and smiles without some wine to shape our night.
Walks across the park while holding hands,
So tight.
Until I reached a plank where she chose to hide,
Ending up next to a mountain top where my soul kind of died…

Had me on a high,
Just to drop!
But,
In many ways?
Made myself slip,
By focusing on what I shouldn’t have.
A family that never tried to understand,
How I’ve always been a boss in a shell God wanted me to crack,
For Melodic to be born and rap circles all around the world with a pen and pad,
And a heart full of Love in a Universe known to lack some…

Looking back from today’s point of view,
Though?
Part of me was drunk within my own spotlight and made me move slow.
After one standing ovation,
All you want is to receive more!
But,
Then I grew cold.
Giving so much light to others right until I lost my smooth glow.
And forgot who was pointing it every where I moved.
So,
I ended up losing her once my world went dark,
As she turned her lights off…

But,
Instead of leaving right away,
She deceived me with some Mary Jane.
Clouding my head with joints to the face,
Every hug feeling like a pity party for what she now sees as a shame…

Enraged,
For a long time.
But,
I crawled out of that grave I tried to dig up thinking not a soul wants me alive today.
Because,
I stitched my wounds closed no matter what pain,
No matter what graze,
By every bullet carrying my name for no apparent reason…

Always there for my beloved!
Loved unconditionally,
No matter how many times I thought of saying,
“Fuck it!”
Loyalty is something I would covet,
To this moment!
But,
Instead?
I was shoved in,
A pile of dirt she wanted me to smoke tons with blunts lit!
By the smallest spark our hearts made while thinking,
“What if?”
“What if?…”

Just,
What if she cared more to cut down the weeds of our relationship,
The same as I?
Yet,
How could that be if she really had another type of green in mind?
The only hue she seemed to want was a man with more money on his person,
Than a guy with a brain who will make her next man his employee with each line I’m rehearsing…

The more I kept surfing the seas for a better catch,
Most seemed to want the same kind of bait to snatch.
So,
I let relationships go entirely,
Finally,
Seeking more for myself besides the same batch of lies I set myself in.
Like,
Settling on the help of another in a world so mother f- selfish!
Especially,
A woman scorned by her own lack of purpose while I delved in,
My heaven of Poetry before I was hellbent,
On killing who I see in my mirror every morning I wake…
Left asking,
“Who’s here to stop me?”
After each cut while writhing in pain…

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