When I look at how curvy she is,
I’m immediately hypnotized.
For the way I make her sip and whine,
As we lay under sheets with pleasure in mind.
A rendezvous we take part in,
She gives me the liberty to leave,
With my drive?
I stick by without crashing,
Until reality comes back storming down upon me.
Tears running towards my belongings.
The Rick & Morty tray I roll my weed in when I’m longing,
My former beloved.
The school desk I lean forward on with a bottle in hand when I can’t covet,
The happiness I feel temporarily…
We dance whether we fight every single day,
Even if we can’t be together.
There are moments where she hugs my body too tightly until I can’t catch my breath.
Grip on my soul just feels too good to let her,
Go into the arms of another man,
Even if she lets herself be shared no matter how much it festers,
In my heart so broken…
I often ask myself if we’ll ever be apart.
Most nights I can’t see us connecting from a far.
Reminders arise of how her love,
Deep down inside,
Is a farce.
Reminders in the form of memories I try from remembering before I leave myself permanently marred,
By the images of myself being carried to a bed by a friend,
Who prevented me from slipping into sweet death.
The pieces of my heart chipped away every time I disappointed them.
All the messages saying I’m a fucking loser just for saving myself from a woman who
was using politics as her sedative…
I’m not so bad of a person.
It’s what I’d like to believe.
I was just lost in the kind of sauce you wouldn’t want to eat.
Mind barbequed by everything I did wrong to the tee.
I clawed to the surface from a hell where I almost came close to the Devil’s feet.
To simply say,
To a Universe I haven’t treated so great while I was drunk on so many drinks…