Truth About Mad Men

Honestly,
I’m torn apart inside.
With pain on my feet while I walk beneath sunshine,
And smile no matter how much I wince for a clean slate.
Because,
I know why I feel the pain I feel,
As I swipe steel across a page when I should be resting still…

Sometimes,
I don’t even know what that means.
Whether it’s death or another chance to dream.
To stitch close every wound I have regardless of how things seem…

I’m rough around the edges,
I know.
But,
On most days,
I’m breathless while I write a message.
Of how I’m dead inside,
At a dead end.
Smoking up bud full of pesticides,
Letting demons set in my mind.
Yet,
I have nothing to hide…

I know that things will be revealed in time,
I’m just preparing for the day you all will open your eyes,
To how flawed I really am.
No superman,
But,
A man devoured by madness,
Reborn through the eyes of a man full of sadness.
And happiness.
Learned to change my rhythm once in a while…

There are nights where I dial in,
Strum cords like a violin,
When demons go for my neck while I’m smiling…
Bars for days because,
I’m behind them…

Once in a while my inner child chimes in,
And reminds me to remind them,
How I’m locked in with a pen that is not to be underestimated when I’m rounding,
Every letter to its smallest point fitting into a page where I have your number dialed in…
To whomever that may refer to…

You never know who’s out there to hurt you.
I just suit up,
Willing to murk whoever steps on my toes while I flow past the masses.
All I want to do is make sure my future is bright with all of my present talents.
I don’t care about relationships nor anything I’ve had in a past dim of any light I now see…
Proudly…
Things happen in time,
And,
I’m patient while clouding.
Every dark thought through blunt smoke crowding.
A mind only trying to get high…