Never the case.
To get up and pray?
To get on a stage,
And leave them in pain?
Away from the deep end,
While staying right on shore,
Getting my feet wet…
All the cynical demons,
Resting soundly on my shoulders while I try my best to repent…
I get it!
When ridding my body of this Monster stuck inside of me,
It wouldn’t be easy.
I’m with whatever no matter the risk of bleeding.
I signed up for this war I started the more I kept on drinking.
I’m only swimming in the tears I’ve poured till it reached the ceiling.
Even if I’m floating inches right above,
I’m still breathing…
I was always thrown wall to wall,
Till I became the catch,
Even as I was reeled in…
Handsome in every fashion you can think of while I bask in my realness.
No time for anyone faking a funk like family,
And friends making a bigger buck,
Too good to steer in…
To the road where their beloved crashed in hopes to hear from,
My rhythm has stopped before,
Through the absence of my muse,
Now an abscess I must surgically remove.
From my head.
For acting like her love was true…
All I see are doctors carrying scalpels,
Cutting those away from a mind full of others who would not act accordingly,
When I voiced a moutful.
I’m on a different beat,
In a different scene,
Chronically detoxing as I’m left unseen.
Rebuilding what once was while I screen anyone who’s doubtful…
Of my success…
And all we really want,
At the end of it all,
Is someone to lay with while you put the pen down and a give it a rest.
As I think about it,
I may be overthinking what truly has me under arrest…
My ‘want’ for love,
Each poem fueling my drive,
Reaching a point in life where I,
With the inner child I had left hanging on the edge,
Of my broken soul…