My Paper’z Bulletproof

It’s hard to stay bullet proof,
Mentally,
When ailments and bills pile,
As you watch your loved ones,
Hungry,
Right next to you.
Thoughts rise,
Am I a man?
I ask myself…

Because,
Generally,
We’re measured by the glow on our wrist watches and the inches on our crotches.
Or,
All the Jordan’s stockpiling in our closets,
No room to even walk in and grab that button up shirt all the way at the end of the rack…
No matter how constricting it is…

I know,
That collar feels like a snake wrapped around your neck,
Tightening it’s grip the minute you slip a finger in between its body.
But,
Isn’t keeping your eyes on the dream more important than,
The party time and hours on youtube you’ll have to sacrifice?
Busy putting in work in your search histories and happy hours,
On such a high,
Just to flow into lows again,
When it’s time for last call…

That isn’t a life to live
At least for me.
I rather duck my head,
Run across the fields and run as many yards as I can,
Until I touch down on my true goal,
Being freed by the loyalty words bring.
Because,
Words can’t ever really stab me in the back,
If I’m their controller…

After coming back home from a long day at work,
I hold divine palms that transform words on a page to their state of omniscience.
Why delve into an Underworld full of broken skeleton bones and dark history?
I can sleep,
But why?
I already had the dream of what I’m meant to see in front of me,
Consciously.
I rather spend hours manifesting what God is blessing me to do,
While others around me act a fool.
I’ve been a fool for too,
Too long…

It’s why change is necessary.
I’m tired of being the same person,
Lost,
In alcoholic delusions and clouds of smoke covering the road I’m supposed to be on,
Whatever that may be.
All I know is,
I have this passion of stripping letters apart and shaping them into their truest form,
A devotion to loving myself more…