Thirsty 4 Love

Life replenishes when you feed it what it needs to keep on breathing.
But,
Sometimes,
What we need is stuck in the Unknown.
A corner of your mind storing amenities away from your conscious eyes.
And,
Questions arise.
Like,
What does my heart actually want?
Will I ever know what it’s like to be happy?
Does my inner child yearn to live on or wither away into particles of dust,
Swept off the face of the Earth by its strongest gusts…

Kind of like me,
Waking from a deep sleep I wish I was trapped in eternally,
At times.
If I had half a penny for each moment I asked God when he’d let me die,
I’d be as rich as a mind at peace.
But,
Nowadays I sit with my soul cut into pieces,
Only looking forward to sleep…

At least a dream you can control if you concentrate hard enough.
A world of wonder away from nightmares on our dear Earth.
Heaven after death,
If you let it be.
But,
Me?
I don’t think I have much control as I usually think with how remote I am from a Universe full of answers…

Often,
My spirit lays in the bottom of an ocean,
Away from any hint of light possible.
Drowning in past memories it can’t seem to ward off no matter what solution is conjured.
Whirlpools,
Even,
Are too weak to move a spirit anchored to a sense of defeat my inner child will not allow,
As much as he wants to crumble into the debris we stomp on…

But,
No matter what I do,
I dream.
Dream for a better day with a blazing sun erupting its beauty brought to us by its invasive sun rays.
Dreaming so exhaustively hard until it becomes a reality I’ve been begging to see.
As each wound heals and closes without removing every stitch too quickly.
Through patience and love in the midst of War between a vessel and its mind trying to save it from itself…

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