Favorite Piece Of Chicken, Gone Bad

Only kind of side piece I like? The last piece of fried chicken from a hot, crunchy, heavenly side order of fried chicken tenders from Popeyes. A side piece I allow to flow down my esophaguas with a smile and chuck-full of pride, arriving into the inner depths of a happy-go-jolly stomach awaiting its prize. For being patient. But, when it comes to my bleeding heart, torn in half right down the middle from war I had lost, the only side piece I want is each single shard from my broken heart back…

To mend a man who once had an iron will, is the mission, rather than hunt for any Queen you can find in order to dethrone her of her continuous light. When asking yourselves why, I must ask others in return. Are you the beholder of perfection? The eternal symbol of 20/20 vision when gazing at the Gold you believe you deserve? If so, is your presence omniscient as God himself? Because, the only entity I know to be the most beautiful and flawless is The Almighty One after the insanity my eyes were partially coerced to witness. Not one person have I met that has not yet been cut involuntarily…

So, when I see others around me embrace another’s waist while their beloved is absent from their sinister presence, my nerves heat up to a turbulent boil. Bubbles rising and popping violently in the air while I gather my composure. How can you ever understand the disloyalty of another, as a person who makes the effort to look into his mirror from dusk till dawn? I mean, after losing the life of my life due to some of my “angry” ways of Being with guilty eyes that wandered too far, never will you condone such travesty of Love, ever…

I admit it. While others thought I was a golden child that can’t ever do no wrong with 40/45 vision, I had my moments where I hurt Her dear heart. How I spoke whenever my demons took control of my mind. “Please just stop cursing! That’s all I want,” is something she would say, in which I would ignore. There were days where my anger would simmer just until she came flying in to hug me, yet so dependent on her Love for me. Honestly, who in their right minds would want to do that? Continuously hurting your soulmate until your connection is severed by her holding hands with another?

But, still. I tried letting it go, her “fondling” with another man during a period where I felt nothing but suicidal, Over a family holding no right to place judgment on me, nor anyone for that matter, is something I question. Why not just be honest in the first place the same as myself? Because, as soon as I committed my heinous act, It wasn’t even close to 24 hours from that point. Loved her way too much to keep such dirty deed a secret.

After three days of prying her and, though, come to find out she was already in bed with another man for the last 3 months while, till this day, hiding all the details for whatever reason. Boy, do the hairs on my arms spike up as I speak of both of our crimes of Infidelity. But, all I thought to myself was, “Why couldn’t she be honest and just say she’s been completely unhappy?” A What if still haunting me before bedtime…

Who knows. Maybe we could’ve worked out the kinks, flaws in our relationship if I didn’t think she was happy. Maybe I would’ve changed sooner in order for us to become the power couple I knew could’ve been. But, who are we to dwell on what doesn’t want us any longer?

Epiphanies arose and realized my true task. Change. But, change for myself, not for her. A sudden realization to be independent from a woman who sees me as a man to be saved from. So that I can save myself from the perdition of failed loved. Loving myself for once…

That damn “side piece,” man. I guess, at times, whatever piece you have to your side may have a better crunch to its outer shell of fried batter than the entree you ordered a while ago. But, the taste? Just will never be the same…

Love,
Mel ❤

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