Haggard Tears

Lately,
It seems as if I can only write about the raging despair I feel coursing all throughout my entire body at maximum speeds I never thought were possible.
After all,
It’s apparent how I’ve been a prodigal son in the eyes of guardians who defend my fall from grace as I climb my way back up to a paradise still probable,
For a soul like mine regardless how far gone it sailed away from its place of peace and logical beginnings,
Now too complicated to fathom as hard as I try to see it within me…

But,
Is there another choice when all there is to see is debris from the constant battle between,
Light versus Darkness ricocheting wall to wall?
Different hues of red and blue,
The only ones I can recall.
Like a Disco ball shining lights upon a night gone bad after lots of alcohol,
And smoke covering a field of dead dreams over diamonds most couldn’t get their hands on without a dollar sought after by a haggard mind bound in knots,
Too strong to be untied without tears…
softening your exterior…

No.
There is no other choice.
Because,
Most have a bottle to pour their emotions into.
All I have is a piece of paper I’m forced to keep dry,
From mine,
If I don’t want my entire life torn apart as I write to get through,
Rainy days I’ve been having way too often,
I’m,
Exhausted…

Surrounded by the Thoughtless…
Startled by the Haunted…
No longer,
While stalked by ghosts of a past I’m unresponsive to when older memories arise,
And incite tainted dreamscapes that offset,
My alignment with a voice of reason,
Convincing me to quit feeding every voiceless demon,
A vessel through which they can speak through…
Who would’ve known what bothered me is just,
Another piece of content for a story I’ve been writing under the almighty’s supervision as I,
Only seek truth…