Clouded By Choices

I guess I’ve been so disappointed in myself that,
I could barely face my pen and pad,
With intent to heal myself from a past I’ve,
Chosen to rewind in my mind,
Until I was shown a price I was forced to pay.
My voice,
Along side a silent mind was the cost,
So,
I had to pick a different choice.
Between destroying every dream I’ve ever had for another chance to distort my reality,
Or,
Quieting the noise in my head to clear the smoke and see the man I can and will be glad to be.
If I was pennywise,
I would coin another phrase before I ever pick up another dime that will never grab me from an edge I’ve been dangling on while trying to gain back my sanity.
I can’t see how I will ever be broken again,
In any fashion,
By wearing out a,
Pen and pad in every morning that I wake.
Every night,
Before I go to sleep praying to God to take this pain away…