Everything To Lose

I’ve burnt bridges,
Without ever looking back!
So that I can drink water from a pond where the small fish swim in.
Never better than the next man!
Nor have I ever planned to be since I was born by a force,
Omniscient,
Egging me to crack out of my shell to swallow any pill killing,
Everything I thought would incinerate me while smoking a spliff…

This reality I’ve been living has seemingly been on the rocks,
The more I fill a cup with what stings while I get hotter from a thought,
Replaying in my mind over and over again till I drop!
On a bed while drunk by Anger I no longer wish to feel…

Why not take a whiff of the fetid odors coming from the rotting carcasses of demons I stomp on with my remaining faith?
Those memories of friends who wouldn’t stay by my side regardless of my imminent rage.
What in the world is a promise for just to break it after one’s state is tainted?
Is what I’m left asking while I fake it till I make it,
All alone with a pen scribbling over pages,
Like a madman!
Till I’ve fainted,
Even if the answer’s right in front of my face,
The more I smile as I write and face my pain with,
A poem or two…

So desperate for more!
Yet,
I sit here.
Alive.
With everything to lose…