Writing’s been quite different ever since I began my journey to sobriety.
A journey where I don’t half-ass it like I’ve been for the past couple of years.
Smoking my troubles away,
As soon as I feel any kind of pain,
While repeating to myself,
“Today will be the day!”
Can’t find the courage to ever let Mary Jane go.
Even if it feels like she’s beaten me against the pavement,
Surrounding what I no longer imagine to be home,
It’s time to knuckle up and settle the score.
Hold a pen between my fingers instead of crooked blunts I thought would help,
Disappearing swiftly into ash while leaving me begging for more.
In the middle of my bed staring at ceiling as my nightmares come to life.
Whether it’s a broken family,
Demons in disguise!
As my friend anytime I need some advice,
About how to move on from resenting such a superficial world full of lies…
She’ll never get you high.
She’ll never let you think of any other escape besides,
Embracing her at sunrise or the evening,
Even if you’re scrambling through your work just to meet a deadline.
She’ll never look you in the eyes with love,
Nor hug you back!
She’d rather push you down into an inferno you,
Yourself has chosen to ignite.
One thing’s for sure…
You can pick yourself back up,
Swipe those ashes into trash bags you tie as tightly as you can and,
Leave her ass hanging any moment she decides to crawl back into your life…
The choice is yours…