Don’t know what to say,
Anger likes to rise up my spine and escape my mouth in sentences meant to detain another’s sanity.
So often stuck in a cell,
I can’t help but feel trapped in such hysterical realities.
Lap topped with so many sticky notes reminding me of travesties,
Like my demons monitoring my vanity,
Through my fear of standing up for myself candidly,
Over that ball of rage in my chest powerful enough to shake the flames of Hell,
Burning away every chance I get at being happy…
Innocent bystanders may feel the shell of fire I’ve been engulfed by.
Even if they try to touch,
Fight to love,
Blindsight my ferocity with a simple hug,
They will get burned!
That’s what I’m afraid of…
Hurting others wouldn’t serve my peace of mind.
I rather give another some pieces of a pie,
I’ve already eaten from.
As I’ve gotten way too sick from that same lie!
That lie of how sweet a bite of that pie is,
When all I’ve been is bitter even if my life is richer than it ever was.
I would rather give it up!
More often than pursue it.
What else do I have next to me to keep me company,
Even if I overuse it?
I would love to bond to someone else other than Mary Jane,
My life doesn’t have enough stock in the eyes of any human.
Haven’t pocketed enough to be valued by anyone,
Regardless if I share a smile as my pupils get drenched by bad blood seen while I dream lucid…
Isn’t enough when it’s a Benjamin most want any moment it hurts to live.
The price you pay for going down a harder road after losing yourself on one God told you to take,
Just for your beloved to finally find you,