A Gift In Disguise

End of 2011.
Family separated,
There was no such thing as being festive,

Dwelling on a past hard for me to handle,
I left grandma’s in the city,
Feeling kind of sore.
New year,
Not a thing seems to have a new car smell while I take course,
On a road driving me insane,
Without a clue,
Till this day…

Difference was needed in a city that was bleeding through a transition,
From older views a bit outdated…
I guess I felt the same with what I saw on a daily basis.
Curbs full of hopelessness,
Souls hungry for some kind of acknowledgement.
Single mothers keeping things afloat while the boat is sinking.
And all I can think is getting a ticket and ditch this hell I’m in…

That’s exactly what I did.
Around the end of December,
To beginning of January,
Dipped into wishing wells and scrounged up all the pennies that I had left,
As I made a trip to Wesley Chapel,
Popping questions married to the Unknown,
Or so it seemed…

“What am I doing on a planet where I can only reach for a star,
And not grab one?…”

Is what I said to myself,
Laying on a couch in my cousin Benji’s house while smoking on some bud…
Speaking of bud,
I didn’t really have any,
Just a handful I called family,
At the time,
At least…

Little did Benji know,
My heart was broken,
From this girl I was close to.
Let’s call her Mary Jane.
She mixed me up & mastered ways to keep my heart on beat,
As if she produced on pro tools.
I mean,
I thought she was my muse.
Sadly mistaken when she chose another man,
As I stood from a distance…

Alone one night after Benji had driven off to his own fling,
My head was flipping…

“Fuck that,
Fuck this.
Always got me on a high,
Just to bring me back down,
What a bitch…”

Mary Jane…
I hopped on the book while I wiped tears off my face,
And saw her name,
I don’t even know till this day,
I made sure to send her a message.
“I know it’s midnight,
I’d like to call for a second…”

Hours went by,
As I realized I might of found someone I can trust…
I mean,
7 in the morning as she fell asleep,
Still was on the other line no matter what,
Resting soundly…

Every problem in my Universe came to an end,
No more feeling heart broken from each moment wrecked,
By a mother who was wishing for my death.
By a mother fucker calling me his son,
The only thing he did was jet,
And inked abandonment across my forehead…

Windy meadows of roses,
Comatose by the thought of her angelic lips,
Dimples that I loved to kiss,
I was gravitated back to the city,
Leaving her text messages of the time I was going to land…
Soon after,
Our Bronx Tales have begun…

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