A Matter Of Redemption

I don’t really think I matter to anyone.
Kind of feels like,
If I died today?
Others would resonate more laughter and love!
All over the world while spotting doves,
Coating our bright skies with their beauty…

Wouldn’t say I’m losing my sanctity,
But,
In a way,
I’m choosing to vanish eternally.
Through each poem my open wounds bleed out into existence.
Sinking my soul into scriptures meant for those deemed a ‘low-life’,
When down and out in life’s trenches…

I just feel like,
Someone popped up my imagine online and clicked “Minimize!”
Therefore,
I stay boxed in writing rhymes,
Keeping me in line while It monitors my mind…

I just feel like,
A broken record trying to pinpoint the reason why I fell off track,
Whether it was over lines crossed or whole bottles of wine I kept throwing up a while back…

Yet,
So sick and tired of bounteous issues involving my pending absence!
As I cross T’s,
Dot I’s and screen shots usually thrown when evading harsh sentences,
I laugh when I’m soaked in all of my successes!
I’m past it…

Growing past my present demons for a better future,
All I care about is how I see myself inside a mirror with those few words!
Of encouragement I get to hear when I put my game face on.
That moment when I tell myself,
“You’re okay,
You got this!”
As I find myself alone with an empty page laid on,
A bed I’ve made way long ago…

A bed where I rest with a grin,
Not ‘chagrined’,
Replacing the sheets any time I must switch my current state of mind.
Before I’m dearly electrified by each doubt set in place by those who’ve said,
“I love you!”
In my presence.
And lied…