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A Matter Of Redemption

I don’t really think I matter to anyone.
Kind of feels like,
If I died today?
Others would resonate more laughter and love!
All over the world while spotting doves,
Coating our bright skies with their beauty…

Wouldn’t say I’m losing my sanctity,
In a way,
I’m choosing to vanish eternally.
Through each poem my open wounds bleed out into existence.
Sinking my soul into scriptures meant for those deemed a ‘low-life’,
When down and out in life’s trenches…

I just feel like,
Someone popped up my imagine online and clicked “Minimize!”
I stay boxed in writing rhymes,
Keeping me in line while It monitors my mind…

I just feel like,
A broken record trying to pinpoint the reason why I fell off track,
Whether it was over lines crossed or whole bottles of wine I kept throwing up a while back…

So sick and tired of bounteous issues involving my pending absence!
As I cross T’s,
Dot I’s and screen shots usually thrown when evading harsh sentences,
I laugh when I’m soaked in all of my successes!
I’m past it…

Growing past my present demons for a better future,
All I care about is how I see myself inside a mirror with those few words!
Of encouragement I get to hear when I put my game face on.
That moment when I tell myself,
“You’re okay,
You got this!”
As I find myself alone with an empty page laid on,
A bed I’ve made way long ago…

A bed where I rest with a grin,
Not ‘chagrined’,
Replacing the sheets any time I must switch my current state of mind.
Before I’m dearly electrified by each doubt set in place by those who’ve said,
“I love you!”
In my presence.
And lied…

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