Evicted From The Clan

Waking up,
First thing,
Bright and early?
It looks like it will surely be a beautiful day!
Sitting next to my window,
Smoking on endo while I pray.
Sipping on some tea,
Alleviating me of my pain…

Why can’t it Be,
This good?
Every morning I’m standing,
Weak?
From this family happily handing me plenty of maddening shots!
I no longer drink for my own well being as my flesh leisurely rots while our master clock ticks…

Living a life,
That was once awfully rife with pother,
Against former friends,
My siblings,
Mother and father,
Over what I should become as a nerd bullies dreamed of stuffing in their own lockers,
I often take measures of distance rightfully so.
I stroll deep down those shady,
Manhattan two-way streets on Broadway full of actors putting on a show.
Like,
Those I’ve called my brothers even if I was in troubled as they no-showed.
Who was I not to go pro?
As I chose to look through a set of clearer lenses while boxed in a mirthful frame of mind…

Maybe,
That’s why it can’t Be as good as I want it to be.
Because,
Their mind frame is cluttered with pictures of me!
That simply don’t exist,
As I continue my day writing to beats of love they’ve never heard inside of their own internal abyss…

How can I ever be accepted by a herd of people refusing to open their eardrums to any kind of difference?
How can I ever beat the drum of a culture silencing anyone refusing to cause friction?
How can I ever play a different tone,
Other than the rip of my separation from a mold hardened by a mental sickness!
Everyone around me won’t atone for?

So many questions riddling my mind,
Yet,
I digress.
Open up another page to digest,
More and more ink mixed with my blood,
Sweat and tears,
While I’m still here just,
Searching for a Home I belong in…