Confusion For The Ages

At this point,
I’m beginning to question my own depression.
My addiction.
Because,
I’m still sad either way.
Whether or not I’m high or sober,
I still feel empty while I sit down in Limbo.
Wondering if I’ll ever make it out…

Maybe,
I’m not necessarily full of sorrow because of my disappointing decision to roll another joint while my opportunities wither away.
Maybe,
It’s just me.
Thinking the same old thoughts.
Same old memories.
Subconsciously sabotaging myself over my fear of standing alone in battle.
All because of pain everybody feels.
Pain that eventually heals if only you let it.
And,
Unfortunately I didn’t until now.
This very moment.
This very moment where I choose to ignore it all.
Absolutely everything that doesn’t serve me and my quest for repentance…