Modern Day Hancock

Debilitating.
To walk outside with a fistful of frustration punching against the walls of your chest.
To be amongst other souls who deny your light while labeling it dim,
When really,
It’s darkness protruding through your pours attempting to devour every glimmer of hope.
Because,
I don’t want to feel this crippling anxiety,
Yet,
It’s there and it pounds me back down into a bed,
Where all of my dreams lay dead…

How do I destroy this curse?
Love probably would,
But,
I have to truly find it in myself first.
Not care for opinions of myself before I have another outburst.
Sit down and connect with my inner child instead of a joint that burns away my peace of mind.
All for a temporary hit of pseudo joy,
Turning into paranoia when looking for a smile in the darkest corners of my beating heart.
A beating heart trying it’s best to fight it all away.
That sorrow sprinting up my spine whenever I don’t know what to do with my day…

A battle no one gets to see unless I decide to reveal my bleeding wounds
…