Burning Starz

Although I give my all to these poems,
I feel like I don’t give enough.
So many metaphors for our sun,
Yet,
More attempts to brighten up within a bottle of moonshine poured within a cup,
I used to grip onto for dear life!
Everything is good when the cup is full,
But,
What happens when it’s tipping over a bit to the left,
Or,
Right?
Droplets of hope dripping away like every night you cried…

Sure!
I may be swimming in an ocean after seeking my atonement,
But,
I’ve sniveled more than I’ve enjoyed the moment.
Hard to find a smile in a city laughing at you when they see a hole in,
The bottom of a pair sneakers worn out from all the times I coasted all through a city withholding my worth in a set of clothes incinerating right before my eyes…
The more I struggle and snuggle the curbside…

I’m just…
Trying to stitch closed every wound cut open by everyone who hurt my,
Inner child with so many lies that were never really true!
Like,
My Mother telling me that I deserved to die,
How my death was past due!
Like my Father denouncing my masculinity over all the poems I have brewed,
From all the tears I was spilling out of a bottle that soon popped!…

Numb from every shard of glass symbolizing the Glass House where I grew tall.
Labeled a failed product of tyrants who couldn’t handle my smooth talk.
Dragging me within another’s image as if they were Rupaul.
Screaming and kicking so damn often,
All I was seeking was a chance to tie these rants together while I’m on edge,
To watch them soon fall…

Still,
Never do I yearn for anyone’s demise.
All I know is,
My vision wouldn’t be clear if I didn’t wipe dirt off of my eyes.
If anything,
I pray that everyone could look up at the sky.
And see how my destiny is written in the stars God portrays through a Light,
Anyone can find!
Inside their own Abyss…

Be mad at yourself!
For not reaching higher to get up out of it.
I scratched,
Clawed,
And busted my way out of hell regardless of whom doubted it.
Punching holes through a brick wall until I saw blood with my knuckles doused in it…
Taste buds full iron and bars I push out of this!
Heart.
Ailing just like any other,
Even if I’m seen smiling from a far…