How Would You Even Know?

How do you know when your heart ‘is in it’?
Knowing your life depends on it?
I often don’t realize I’m thirsty,
Until my mouth is dry and can’t recite a single sonnet.
Signs you must be aware of before you make a response in,

Can’t say you don’t lie to yourself from time to time.
Walking blind without a care in the world with a mind for highs.
When exactly do you realize,
Your vision isn’t as clear as you believed it to be as you snort line for line,
Just to see life better?
All I know is,
I couldn’t see myself smile until my face was cleared of all the smoke tethered to my lungs…

So many nights where you try to speak to God for answers.
Being so high on your own pedestal,
You can’t understand that you’re talking to yourself,
As you live life backwards.
Fronting for so long!
Refusing to believe he’s behind every move you make when you gather,
Your feet,
And pray even when you feel lesser than Earth’s,
Roaming freely..

Is Heaven itself.
Can’t you tell?
At least I can as I never dwell,
On the Hell fires surrounding us while most drown in a Wishing Well…
I mean,
It seems we,
Are not afraid to insert a knife in a spine if our peace through money is on the line.
I can just imagine if we were at peace with the Beast we gave life,
The bed we make and decide to abandon while we sing,
It feels like life is killing me…”

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