Beginnings we desire are always the hardest. Way more difficult they are than the ending our gut desires us to write and the Beginning it knows we have to write. But, the, heart? Nope. If anything it’ll convince you to run away from your current circumstances and drown within murky waters of passivity. After all, nobody knows Pain better than what keeps your blood flowing.
And, like the fool I’ve been for the past several years, I ignored my belly growing louder and louder as each second ticks by…
“Get the fuck out of there!”
“What are you waiting for?!”
“You don’t belong. Never have, never will.”
“There are better places for you than…This.”
Why? I don’t even know! I’d like to think that I have an idea, but who ever does pay attention, really? I mean, with so many things stuffed inside of our subconscious, how can we ever truly know when to pay it some mind without an epiphany hitting us in the face with a baseball bat (corked, Sammy Sosa style)?
Nevertheless, what choice do I really have now that I’m by myself, forsaken by virtually everybody I’ve ever known, including kin I hardly relate to, anyway? If you think about it, it will never make sense to ruin your own day over anything out of our control. And, all that is in our control is just, our belief and the amount of sleep we can get wherever we decide to steer it to.
Sad! In some cases…
But, I’ve never seen someone walk to Florida with every single piece of decaying material they’ve owned on their emaciated backs. What I have heard about on the contrary are sinking boats throwing out every item they could possible find in order to keep it afloat regardless of tragedy.
Sure! Painful it may be to witness mementos drown in the murky waters of the Unknown. You may even cry until your vocal cords forget how to utter the simplest of words. Still! Tears are there to wash away the Devil’s imprint on your gleaming soul to shine your brightest. Same as Laughter as it cancels out noise demonic in nature while amplifying your reasons to live and push forward. But…
Smoke? Forget about it. Try seeing through it till you’re on the other side. See if there will be any one you’ve ever loved standing there, waiting with an Ear open to indulge on your story.
Guarantee there won’t be…
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