16 & In Love

I was 16 when I was,
Blessed with her presence.
A gift from the skies,
Breathless I was as my eyes,
Fluttered and scried,
For the next time,
We find,
Each other side by side…

Friday comes by,
And never have I felt so alive,
The second I heard you cry,
Lullabies of pain and love I wished I was a part of…
But I,
Wrote instead…
And wondered…
Is God really a He in our universe?
No one else has created this smile on my face,
Other than her…

Her beauty put me at a stand still,
Like watching divine skies,
In the back seat,
On a Saturday morning drive,
To satisfy insatiable hunger for love,
Over breakfast and,
Some wine…
A boy can dream,
Right?
Fantasizing over tantalizing smiles directed at me.
Beauty so jaw-dropping it chides any wickedness within wounds,
Sewed closed with strings pulled,
By the ventriloquist of each lonely night suffered underneath a blue moon…

I couldn’t even jot down a bar or two.
I watched her perform like no tomorrow.
Like,
God borrowed my soul as cargo to drive me into her palms,
Although,
I often get carsick…

I gave it a go.
Switched on the ignition,
Heard the engine purr through my mental friction,
Jeans rubbing up against sexual wishes,
I can only manifest by thinking of her,
And me,
In remission through love from accumulated sin committed,
By lusty South Bronx pleasures embedded,
In every interaction we’ve had in my reality…

I crashed…
Tried speaking and it didn’t work.
It hurt…
Felt like my heart would burst.
Simply wasn’t her type,
But as I write this sentence without spite,
What is poetry without her?
When I flowed words,
Hoping she’d give me a reason to?

Sick of rejection…
Sometimes you just want to be accepted.
Feel wanted the way you’d want to hold your beloved…
I thought It’d be continuous,
Yet,
Here I am 8 years later blessed with,
The true love of my life…

All the years I’ve been alone,
I figured it’s fate.
A design structured by good deeds and mistakes made.
Loneliness was a gift,
In a way.
There was no gain,
From hopping woman to woman,
Heartbreak after heartbreak.
It wouldn’t have led to me screaming,
“I’m in love!”
On this solemn day…