Daddy

Can’t believe I have all three of you kids in my waning life.
A triad of purpose I look up to rather than the need to die.
A trinity of hope I pray for to live better lives than I did,
As I look up at the sky…
And write…
About how I truly love you all on unconditional terms,
Despite of how the picture has been looking like…

See,
It isn’t my fault.
As to why I have to clock in,
And miss the sunshine shining on the asphalt.
Ignoring all the memories we could’ve made for some money going toward bills I haven’t paid off.
Or even a stage and a mic I can’t live without,
Anytime my heart feels so wronged…

Understand that it’s a sacrifice some of us make,
For y’all to live different lives.
We go through so much pain,
That y’all don’t see,
And still we rise.
Early morning,
Where we mourn a weekend while we’re storming out of our doors for a weak check.
While we try our best to not get robbed by the silly,
Little demons dancing in our heads,
Seemingly for no apparent reason…

But,
I do it because seeing y’all smile makes me feel happy,
For once.
Growing up,
My mom took a look at me and wished for death on herself with an urge to slap me,
And I’ve had enough…

What I see when I see you three,
Are three angels truly watching over me…
What your grandparents saw were three kids who did not deserve a single present under our Christmas tree…
Hell.
I found heaven in my father’s arms,
Even if he gave me five across the cheek,
On my birthday,
When all I wanted was a simple CD,
Riding with him in his Taxi yelling,
“Come and see these hands!”
To beat me on the curb of the street…

Asking myself who am I to care about a world running itself to the ground?…
I’m just busy trying to cover y’all before they really start shooting us down.
Setting a foundation you can lean on rather than tripping and losing a crown,
That can only be lost in a crowd,
That keeps pulling you all the way down,
To their level…

It’s the least I can do.
Show y’all several paths you can choose.
Whether you’re a painter or decide to kick a freestyle and get ’em cut with no cost in the booth.
Doesn’t matter!
Force them to catch the fade and let the lion loose.
From the pen.
And make their day blue,
When you debut,
All the talent God gave you…