"I coin a phrase, For me to change, And pay for my sinz…" – m3l0dic
Damaged, Internally. While screaming out His name into the sky! Knowing He won't float down, From his cloud. Knowing I will never hear his voice correct my words again... But, Some way, Some how, I still feel heard. I still feel the presence of a loving man who vowed to lift me from the edge... Continue Reading →
Nowadays, When I wake up, I realize I can never see him again. The man who taught me what a word was any time I said, "I don't ever want to breathe nor live again..." One of three who dragged me out of an abyss so that I can repent. For the sins I've committed... Continue Reading →
Sleep. Not a state where our bodies are inert, But, More so a way for us to know more than the 'curb'... And, Kids like me? Usually sleep walk through a Street life so prevalent in the lives of the Urban. Sifting through so many messages as they go on a search with, Fully loaded... Continue Reading →
What do I need? I think about that often. Versus what I want in, This fragile life of mine... But I, Digress from such thought over my bathroom faucet. Where the need for God washes, Away, Every spec of dirt daring to paint me as flawless... Impefections, The perfections we were blessed with! Just how... Continue Reading →
It's hard to even "want" to exist when you feel like everything you do is wrong. Almost as if your own voice is on egg shells. And, You won't even know the reason, Really. There's never an option of knowing. You just sit there quietly, Letting the internal box get smaller and smaller as your... Continue Reading →
Have you ever had a pain, In your head, That doesn't go away? For days. Weeks. Months at a time while becoming crazed, Internally? What is truly hurting me? The question driving me insane, Into fits of rage. Clothed by my anger and the memories I hate... Can't remember when I didn't have them. Havent... Continue Reading →
Look at him. Smooth, Cool. Mouth full of cigarettes... Look at him. Holding his daughter's hand, Face full of smoke, Sprinkled in ash... Look at him. Smiling while styling, Profiling. And buying in the thousands! Many, Many, Many packs for all the stress that's piling, On his shoulders... But, What about his daughter? Coughing from... Continue Reading →
Nobody wants to be there, Nor here. As I also just want to disappear... Be my own puppeteer, And control myself a little better while I'm under the weather. But, Whatever. I keep writing verses, Helping those who are hurtin', Even if my own words don't help me most of the time... It's hard to... Continue Reading →
Eerie it feels when you reach out and don't get an answer. Afterwards, you turn kind of zombie like and just stare at the next wall that you see. Darkness embodies your mind as you no longer can reach for that phone for anyone who decides to call back. Then, thoughts and decisions come to... Continue Reading →
If you're wondering where I've been? Climbing out of an abyss. I do think about many moments I've missed. Missed calls, Ignored messages, Accumulating as my anxiety rises. But I do ask, Where are you during my mental crisis? I'm still here, Because I can't jump off bridges already burnt, Even though I'm trying.... Think... Continue Reading →
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