Feels like it will never end, the suffering. The internal carnage between who I really want to be versus what others envision me as. A disease seeping out of my pours, transforming into new fixations I never thought would cripple me on most nights. It's not the weed, nor the booze. Now? It's a plate... Continue Reading →
Preludes You’re Not Ready For…
Couldn't quench my thirst with a river of tears,So,I'm back tearing up a page with a pen drawing out my fears,And,Placing them in front of me.A battle for the ages!Set on preparations for the day I meet my savior.Racing is my heart as I savor my erasure.From a world I wasn't meant for,Yet,Meant to be... Continue Reading →
Zig-Zagging Through The Smoke!
Forgotten for the last decade,Unless I had poem in my pocket to pull out.Regardless of where I was in the city,A flock of other people chose to flap their wings with me,Until my flight became turbulent,Zig-zagging back and forth while crashing with blunt force into earth again.And again,And again,Each time a joint is lit by... Continue Reading →
Molotovz
Only two more days,And…I feel as if I'm holding on for dear life.Startled,Of all things,But…I only have one goal in sight… Sobriety.So elusive,Yet,So close to me everywhere I go as long as I choose to,Lose it.Dispose of it instead of using it,For managing a Molotov of emotions by setting on fire with every flick of... Continue Reading →
None Of It
Regrets?I have none.All I am is a human who's mad enough!To throw my lighter against a pavement stepped on by so many others wearing shoes soaked in butane while having nothing,To lose.And,I could've been a part of that group….Of arsonists as my soul was often set ablaze by what was never true…Mary Jane along side... Continue Reading →
Mind In A Blaze – Freewrite #45
Haven't been good in what feels like,An aeon my inner child became too tired to keep on counting.Sick of waking up first thing in the morning doubting what I,Haven't yet attempted.Putting my phone aside to meditate after much needed bed rest.Breathing when I'm feeling anxious about when I need to do the next best thing,And... Continue Reading →
Want To Die? So What…
Who am I to ever feel suicidal as I live a life I have dared not to live?Who am I to cry the Lord's name for my salvation when,I have been way too selfish and ungrateful to give?Just,A nobody with a dream I stopped cultivating with pure love when love became lost for me!A leech... Continue Reading →
Lost In My Mind
Lost.Stuck inside the confines of a mind gone dark.How do I break through?Is the question I repeat in hopes an answer would spark.Lighting fires under my belly rather than enduring a combustion burning my dreams away,As I inhale another breath and keep calm.Opening my palm!To receive blessings I've rejected for way too long.All for a... Continue Reading →
Sizzling Beauty
Tantalizing beauty is what She possessed.Eyes followed her whichever direction the wind pulled her toward.Sparkles of glitter hovered around Her face while exposed to sunshine,Illuminating a smile she would often keep hidden within the shadows of another's dark cloud.So magical she was!But,My pupils shrunk at the sight of her lustrous arrival.What was luminous to others,Like... Continue Reading →
Withering Flames
Memories of who I once loved wither away like,A ripped page out of my journal catching flame.Never wanted to tear a single one out,Yet,I smile as I watch each flake of fire scattered all across my face.Embers more heartwarming than all I've felt from anyone else…